Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
