Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
