You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
