he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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