My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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