Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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