Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
