It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
