Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
