So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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