I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
