your room smells of hookers.
And success
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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