girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
