Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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