so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Success! We fucked roommates!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
