Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have fence marks all over my body
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
