When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
