Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize