shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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