I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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