Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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