i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
