I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
