It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
