i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Come see our sink grown plant.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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