He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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