My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
