His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
