I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
