Welp...herpes.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
