I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Come see our sink grown plant.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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