I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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