Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
