ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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