is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
