I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
