i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
