just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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