We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
