there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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