He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
