My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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