so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
