Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
