Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
