I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
