Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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