If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
