was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
