Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
