I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
