Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
